It might be a rule of life but for some reason there is always that one boy who makes your heart race whenever you see him. Even if this boy has been the cause of so much grief in your life. Even if this boy is everything you hate and love all in one package. And somehow they have this insane control over you. They know exactly how you work: what to do to make you happy and what to do to break your heart. But every time they come around you hope it will be different. You just hope that this time they will see how great you fit together. That maybe this time he will be able to deal with a relationship.
I know a boy like that. Ive known him since before ive met him. Hes almost a part of me: one that i dont always like. He is sweet and caring and makes me feel amazing! But its not always like that... and it kills me. He plays with my heart. I can rant and cry and tell myself how much I hate him but it always comes back to this... hes a part of who I am. I cant cut him off anymore than I could do withput a part of my body.
So I stay far away but there is always that pull, that temptation to let him back into my life. I remember how it was and it wasnt always good but it was real. Out of anyone he should have treated me the way I deserved. Instead im just that girl... the one from the past that he can rely on for the future... steady and reliable. I shouldnt let him take me for granted. He was my best friend. But I do. And thats the way it is with us. He doesnt know everything im holding in. Everything that I would love to shout at him. One day he will see how he hurt me. Maybe then he will realize that and realize that ive forgiven him.
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